Do you know about the NEO-PI-R test? Neither did i, till i learnt that i had taken it as part of some personality profiling test for self-devt. It categorises the findings into 4 areas:
- Problem-solving skills
- Planning, organising and implementation skills
- Style of relating to others
- Personal style
It was about 5 pages of analysis, with the caveat that no particular trait is good or bad, it depends on the context. After reading it, realised they could have summarised my profile in 1 word.
Bastard.
Never knew i was that horrid, or that what i thot was ok behaviour would be seen so negatively. My positive trait was my intellect. My negatives included (but not limited to) selfish, arrogant, disorganised, lack ambition, competitive rather than cooperative, low flash point. I was thinking about how accurate this was.
To a large extent, i think it is true now that it has been pointed out to me. But i also realise that this is true at this point in time. Some years back, i would have come across as more people-oriented rather than task-oriented. The last few years made me rethink some of my assumptions - eg. that people are basically good - and that made me a lot more suspicious of those around me. There have been instances where the goodness in people shone through but i have learnt that if i dun look out for myself, noone else will. Yes, all these come across as excuses, but none of it really matters to anyone anyway.
As i end the year and look for resolutions, these will come in handy to help me formulate those abandoned-on-2-Jan goals. However, i somehow think i will try to modify certain behaviours so i dun seem so nasty, rather than actually change my paradigm. So long as certain things dun change in my life, i think i will be better off in the long run if i stick to those beliefs. Better to be disliked than vulnerable, i think.