Recently, had someone leaning on my shoulder and lying on my lap. Nope, nothing of that sort. He was sorta drunk and i had to send him home.
As much as i knew it meant nothing, it was really nice to be taking care of someone, to be needed or wanted. A long time back, i wanted to be protected, then i wanted to protect. Now, it doesnt matter what i want to do.
I earlier spoke of my celibacy phase. Now, even counting the discountable episode, it is gonna be 1 year.
I realise where i am contributing to this whole loneliness issue, but i cant bring myself to do otherwise. When i dun want what i can get, and cant get what i want, i have decided, thus far, to just have nothing at all.
As another year approaches, i am thinking of doing all those things that i shd have done long ago.
I am gonna get chastised for being uncooperative by my small group of friends. Maybe, they will realise with time, that this is for the better. Better for everyone.
And so, all i want for Christmas is …. peace. Not the world type, just of the mind type. I should get it right? After all, i havent been naughty this whole year 