What’s the point?

"In the age of the broom, we wanted to be swept off our feet. In the era of the vacuum cleaner, we are content to just get sucked." - moi

This article on SWFs is interesting.

Why highlight that the Kuwaiti SWF lost US$30 bn in the headlines … when Temasek lost US$39 bn?

When about half the article is on Temasek?

When there are details on the various Kuwaiti SWFs but nothing on the other SWF in Sg?

On the good side of info sharing, we know that the US$185 bn Temasek fund in 31 Mar 08 fell to US$127 bn in 30 Nov 08.

Ok, i know it is paper losses and these are long term investments. I am fine with the approach cos i do agree with the arguments put forth on how these funds are invested.

I just dun agree that it should take so much more persuasion and effort and drama to unlock S$4.9 bn to help Singaporeans in this recession. S$4.9 bn vs US$58 bn (about S$84 bn). Something sounds wrong with the process.

14 Feb 09 is D-Day. Ok, so i am talking about Valentine’s Day. V-Day is D-Day to some of us.

You know that saying about how, "if you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking"? Well, i think it isnt so much about love at first sight. Generally, i think it is about desperation. When you get desperate enough, you look at the people in the clubs, at the gym, at cafes, at online sites, in chatrooms, in the trains, in queues, at smoking corners, visiting your office for a meeting etc, hoping this is the ONE. You hope that this particular someone might be that special someone. After a while, you accept that you dun really need someone special, just someone. Just anyone.

It was first when the hunks and babes got song dedications and gifts and date invites in JC that V-Day became a noteworthy date in my calendar. Till now, i have never had to worry about securing a reservation at some fancy restaurant or paying exorbitant prices for flowers or chocolates on V-Day. I haven’t had a date on V-Day before.

Or on just about any other day for that matter.

So, here’s to commercialisation making me feel even more inadequate as 14 Feb 09 approaches ( … back to crawling under rock till 15 Feb dawns).

Maybe like me (and 2 gazillion others), you were at Zirca’s first boys’ night party yesterday. So, how was it?

Location is a plus. Especially since i will be spending less on cab fare. And MacDonald’s need not worry about ever closing down with 2 gazillion (and one) boys having supper at the Liang Court outlet. 7-11 is also nearby, so cheap alternatives for drinks and ciggies is a welcome sight.

Drinks are too ex. Before 12, it is 1-4-1, at $50. Works out to $25 a jug. Which isnt that bad. But if you miss that, can you imagine paying $50 a jug?! Guess i wont be overdosing anytime soon, since there is no way i will be getting a jug after 12. Then again, there are bottled beers and cider. But at $16 for an E33, it is pricey compared to max of $14 at other outlets (and only $12 at Play).

Bar messed up a bit. Drinks took forever to arrive for my frens. And staff clearing jugs went ahead to clear jugs that were almost half full! Totally unacceptable! Do they have any idea how precious alcohol is to the gay boy who needs it to un-inhibit himself and approach that cutie?

Layout has its drawbacks. Too many pillars and far too many steps. Certainly a hazard as people try to squeeze thru the crowds. Very unglam if you go splat, right? But 2nd floor that is pretty empty is a big welcome. Smoking room upstairs is pretty glam too!

What’s with the cages for dancers?

Trapeze act was hardly noticed. People too busy watching multitude of boys trying to squeeze into cages.

Pity DJ George. He is right smack in the spotlight and pressure is on him to keep up the energy levels thru the night. Sure, you can jump and work up the crowds at the start. But to have to do that till 4 am? Man, that has got to be draining.

Light panels are impressive. But of cos, you hardly notice them after a while.

Platforms are de rigeur for the boys. Got that right at this club.

So, all said and done, guess they will survive. As did every other gay club before them. Up to a time, that is. 2 yrs is probably the max for these boys’ night. The boys want their variety and so long as the club doesnt get anything too wrong, they will be in business till the crowds start getting bored. It was only the 1st night yesterday, yet my mind is wondering where the next venue will be. Hmmm.

Yup, back in depression.

Friend suggested i see a psychiatrist. He wasn’t suggesting this lightly. He revealed that one of our mutual friends was seeking counselling at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

Me? I am not keen on it. There is so little happening in my life. This on-off (more on than off) depression is something for me to focus on. It keeps me occupied. It is my own little pet project to prevent my mind from turning into the devil’s workshop.

I know why i am depressed. I know what i can do about it. But i am not doing anything about it.

I know, that sounds utterly stupid. It is cos, if i try and fail, then i will have to face the fact that i am really beyond help.

I know there are things i can do to get over this. Where it involves others, i think it will be better to not take that option, as, instead of just me being screwed up, i will end up screwing up someone else’s life as well. I am even avoiding getting a pet hamster/chinchilla/dog to relieve my depression (pets are supposed to be therapeutic) as i am afraid that i will end up being the worst thing that ever happened to them. That aside, i am afraid even a dog, which is famed for its unconditional love, will not love me Gosh, if that were to happen, i think i will officially be suicidal.

All this aside, there is something i am not quite getting. When i am in a bad mood, i know i will be bad company. My plan then is to avoid everyone cos i will piss people off. However, people get pissed off that i am not up for all their fun and excitement. Wouldnt it be better not to meet someone who will piss you off?

Ok, so i am a mega pity whore. I have tried telling myself to be grateful for what i have. But i am never happy. I dun think it is in my constitution to ever be happy. I thought of a few things to turn my life around and i have failed in everyone of them, mostly due to my lack of discipline.

I guess i deserve to be unhappy.

Saw this article on ST: “Rush for PR Status“.

For one, i now know that elusive figure of PRs in Singapore: 478,200.

In additional notes, Dr Teo Ho Pin had mentioned that we “must constantly attract talent”. I wonder what the definition of talent is. 

As the foreigners try for PR status to ensure that they can stay around to try for jobs later, Sgeans will have to compete with them. Good luck compatriots! 

[ps. according to this letter, Singapore has 241,000 PRs in the workforce]